An old man lost a precious thing. He looked for it everywhere but could not find it. In his neighborhood there lived a teenager boy whom he liked very much. The boy was very polite and possessed noble qualities. He especially respected the old man a lot. He was a kind of boy who always minded his own business and thus he was never seen being idle or loitering in the neighborhood. When the old man did not find his thing, he thought that someone had stolen it. In his neighborhood, there was not present anyone except the same boy. First he refused to even think of him as a possible perpetrator but with every passing day, he became more and more certain that the boy had stolen his object. His silence, his way of walking with his head bent down, his habit of remaining limited to his works and his very less appearance outside his house assured him that he had all the signs of a thief. Now he believed that boy was doing all these to conceal his confusion which usually appears after committing a crime.
Almost after a month, he found his missing object from a corner of his room when he was cleaning it. He felt sorry for his previous thoughts about the boy and repented on his act. Now the same boy appeared to him very innocent. His silence, his walking style and his appearance appeared to him absolutely natural and innocent.
The old man not only made a serious moral offence by suspecting an innocent but also kept himself in a constant pain and discomfort. Whenever he thought that the boy was the thief, he felt himself filled with anger towards him and many plots emerged in his mind to teach him a good lesson. Different thoughts kept bombarding his mind and he was never able to get out of their realm. And of course, majority of these thoughts were negative and destructive.
In any such situation, he was never able to harm the boy but he lost his mental peace and serenity.
In any such case, first important task to be done is to make a very good search. In majority of such cases when one losses something and suspects others, the thing is usually found from his own custody. A woman lost one of her gold rings. When she could not find it, she suspected her servant working in the house. She was not able to say anything to him directly but she became very vigilant and started checking the every movement of the poor servant. She lost her mental peace by being busy in such a disgusting work. On the other hand, the poor servant was also confused with the strange behavior of his boss and not able to understand why she looked at him in such a strange way. Many a times he decided to inquire about this but then he could not find enough courage to do so. In short, he was in a constant pain and agony.
After some days, a corner of the room started stinking badly. A rat was found dead that had eaten the ring by mistake and had failed to swallow it and it had caused its death. The ring was taken out of its dead body with all the difficulty. Anyhow, after the recovery of the ring, both the lady and the servant were relieved of this unrelenting pain.
In our everyday life, we come along many occasions when we feel ourselves completely lost and thus find no clue to understand the situation or seek a good solution for it. The problem attacks our head with all its brutality and tramples it. If we keep our head busy with it for a longer period of time, it naturally affects the normal or proper functioning of brain and thus we feel exhausted. Now, this exhausted and crippled mind is vulnerable to the negative thoughts and as a result we start suspecting others.
Suspecting others is an approach adopted by those who think normally and fall prey to the exhaustion of the problem and are not able to tackle the situation with wisdom. You might have also noticed some people who try to look at the problem from a different or constructive perspective, using all the mental tendencies. If a solution to a problem is sought with this approach, it is for sure that we will definitely come up with a solution or at least we will end with a clue leading to the resolution.
Majority of the people are not wise enough to suspect others and keep the smoke of this limited to themselves. When they suspect someone, they simply accuse the other of a theft or any other serious crime. When a person is accused of something of which he has no knowledge at all, he naturally feels it too much. As a result, people often get into serious disagreements or quarrels with each other and many of the good relations are lost forever.
According to the management Gurus, such a habit is very detrimental for the coherence of a group or an organization. If a boss is in habit of suspecting others, he would never get a trustworthy person who should be willing to devote himself to the organization. People would always keep a distance from him and the cooperation needed for a productive output would never be achieved and thus he would never be able to call himself a successful boss or leader.
This drastic problem has destroyed many families and parted children from their parents. The relation between the life partners is very sensitive and has to continue for the lifetime. If a wife or husband suspects the other, it brings an air of distress in the house and the serenity and calmness of the house is destroyed completely. This develops an invisible restlessness inside the boundaries of the house and every member including the children comes under its effect.
Husband and wife need to understand the habit and personality of each other well in the beginning months (or years) and once trusted, should have a firm trust on each other. Now, whatever happens or whichever news is brought by others about your spouse, you need to trust him or her and not the rumors or baseless news.
Modern psychologists suggest a number of solutions to the problem of suspecting others but there is a proven solution mentioned in Quran and that is, “Never be in search of information about the lives of others and leave them on their own”. When you will do so, you will give no room for the suspicions to take root and grow in your mind.