The house was full of women of different ages. There was the dead body lying in the center, and the circle of women grew around it. Just moments earlier, the body was washed and covered with white clothing and was ready to be carried to the graveyard. It was left there so that the close relatives and friends should have a final glance at the body. Outside the men were waiting so that they should come and pick the body. The wife of the dead man moved forward to cast a glance at the body and with her first step, the hue and cries of the ladies around her grew louder. She was trying all her best to control herself but these loud cries also gave her a reason to give out a loud cry and this added more to the severity of the situation. Now, it was not clear as who the close relative was and who was not as every lady was crying with all her energy and effort. Strange comments could have heard there. A lady was saying, ‘Ah my dear brother! Why you left us in your youth?’ It was found out that she was crying for her brother who had died a couple of years back. This sorrowful atmosphere also filled the eyes of men standing outside with tears. Anyhow, all these came to an end after sometime when the body was carried away to the graveyard.

In another scene, the dead body is lying in the center, covered with flowers and a lady with her children is standing close to it. Her eyes are filled with tears but there is utter silence in the room. Relatives come one after the other, look at the face of the dead person for a moment and move forward after uttering a few words of condolence. Children appear to be very serious and sad but they are all standing in a sound stature.

The above two scenes show the different styles of mourning in an educated and an illiterate society. No doubt, crying and mourning helps to wipe away our grief but it is necessary that we should not make it an occasion to earn the sympathy of others or exhibit our grief to the public. The process of crying and mourning can be better carried out in the private that would be the source of catharsis as well.

Deaths and tragedies are not something new. There is an old story that a lady had a son whom she liked very much. Suddenly, he passed away in an accident. The lady was not able to accept this harsh reality and all the time she kept crying and complaining from the God, terming it to be an injustice with her. Her relatives took her to a scholar who said to her, “If you can do one thing for me, I promise that I will also request the God to give back your son.” The lady at once became happy and said, “Whatever you say. I am ready to do anything to get back my son.” The scholar said, “You should bring ash of a house to me (In old times, when only wood was used, ash was found in every house) where no one has ever died.” The lady went out happily and started going to the different houses. But at the end, she found that there was no such house and there have been deaths in every house or family. She then understood that death is a reality in life and no one can avoid it.

Death or any other tragedy affects us a lot but if we keep remembering it, it may become a permanent source of torturing ourselves. With death, sudden and shocking feeling of loss and sorrow captures our mind which cripples us for some time. But with the passage of time, this feeling lessens and we gradually return to the normal life. But if we keep crying or remembering the same tragedy, we keep ourselves in the same painful condition and of course, we keep others in pains who are concerned with us.

A book describing the old and stupid habits of Arabs before the advent of Islam tell us that it was considered a matter of proud and honor who was able to mourn more seriously. They used to throw earth on their heads, would hit themselves to the wall and some would cut their bodies to let the blood flow and showed it to the people. Such serious and barbarous exhibitions of sorrow and tragedy are not present today but there are also present those who start complaining from the God. This is a worst form of ingratitude as life was a gift to us and we don’t have any right to complain when it is taken back.

Any such habit can end up with serious consequences. When we accept a loss, it ends here and soon we return to the normal life but people who don’t finish it like this, usually end up with complaints from others. There were the stories that a person got married and soon died after the marriage, and relatives of the man blamed the bride that she brought the curse for him and he died of her and started torturing her physically or mentally. Similarly, accusing someone of your tragedy is not a wise thing to be done.

There are clear teachings of Islam about how to mourn and feel sad whenever we come up with a serious loss in our life like death of a relative or any deadly accident. First order has been given to say, “We were sent by God and thus we have to return to the God.” This is an order for both big or a small loss. Even if we lose some money and this keeps us in unrest, we can soon feel better by saying and accepting the above facts. It means that we accept it as a reality and our hue and cry and other stupid acts are not going to change the situation. When we say so or accept it, we feel ourselves to be relieved and contented, whatever the situation maybe.

In mass demonstrations and mourning, there have been many problems due to this habit. We block the roads, carry out mass protests or demonstrations, shout slogans and do many more acts that really disturb the others. Last year, when the death anniversary of a famous person was being undertaken, we saw a number of people who had made convoys of many cars, covered these cars with flags or pictures and loitered in the streets with shouting. They did not take care of the traffic laws and were indifferent to the people around them. As a result, there were small fights between them and other people. If these had assembled at a place and recited Holy Quran or done any other good deed, it could have been far better for the soul of the person.

It is time that we need to reconsider our behaviors of tackling the sad moments in order to make them more reasonable so that we should not be creating problems to the others.