Herbert E. Buckley is an English poet, mostly famous for her inspirational and unique poems and ideas presented in these poems. The title of one of her famous poems is ‘The Little Boy’ that portrays a small boy who went to a school. On his first day, he liked his school because his classroom was right in front of the door and he did not have to walk a long way to reach to his classroom. Then his teacher came and announced that they were going to make a picture. The boy liked to make pictures and he was very excited. He was good in making pictures of flowers, trees, rivers, mountains and many other things. But, when he was about to start, the teacher stopped them and when she got the attention of all the students, she announced that they would make a picture of a flower.
The boy was again excited because he liked to make beautiful pictures of flowers and soon he started drawing a flower but again teacher stopped them and directed them to look at the board. Then she went to the board and made a picture of a red flower with green stems. Then she asked her students to make a similar picture. Till that time, the boy had also drawn a flower. He looked at his own picture and at the board and liked his picture but then silently started drawing a picture similar to that of teacher.
Another day, teacher announced that they would make something out of clay and the boy was again happy and excited because he could make many things out of it. Teacher announced that they would make a dish and stopped them until she made one. The boy liked to make dishes and he made a dish of his own. Then teacher showed the dish made by her and asked her students to make a similar one. The boy looked at his own dish and that of teacher and he liked his own one, but then silently put his dish on a side and started making one similar to that of teacher.
After some time, the boy moved to another city with his family and was admitted in another school. Here, his classroom was not in front of the door and he had to walk up the stairs to reach to his room. When his teacher came, she announced that they would draw a picture and all the students started drawing but the little boy waited. While moving in the classroom, teacher came to him and saw that he was not making anything. Teacher inquired if he did not like drawing pictures and the boy asked, ‘What should I make?’ The teacher replied, ‘Whatever you like the most’. The surprised boy put his second question, ‘Can I make anything in any color?’ ‘Yes, you can make anything in any color’. And he asked the question that his previous teacher used to repeat a lot, ‘And if everyone made whatever he liked and colored it however he liked, how would you know who made what?’ For this teacher smiled and said, ‘I would know and even if not, it doesn’t make much difference. You should make whatever pleases you the most’. Though his classroom was not in front of the door but he liked his new school.
This inspirational poem introduces beautifully the importance of giving autonomy so that people may do things according to their own wishes and exhibit the abilities gifted to them. This psychological phenomenon is an important part of children’s psychology and especially important for parents and teachers who have the responsibility to help the children come up with their natural abilities.
Societies that got educated realized the importance of this lesson and soon conducted research to come up with guidelines that could help the educators and parents in building the personality of children. Thousands of books have been written on the topic and practical implementation of this psychological practice has helped the West to come up with generations who were more confident and ready to put their share in the society in more efficient manner.
Many years before, a family stayed at our house for almost a month as guests. The family included of a wife and husband and their three children. They had left their native village and were waiting for some documents to migrate to Iran. The man mostly seemed to be angry and stressed and we presumed it due to after circumstances. But for observing the man for some days, I learned that it was his nature and he liked to intimidate others by his strange style. He was especially strict on his three children and termed this strictness to be the basic ingredient in bringing up the children. He always guided his children about different things like, ‘eat like this, sit like that, play like this, walk like that’ and many more and his continuous and never-ending directions sometimes irritated me but I felt deeply sad for the children who kept looking at him before doing anything and one could see the fear in their eyes. One night a comic situation happened. We were all having dinner together and his elder son, who was no more than ten years, took a piece of bread and his father said, ‘Oh you fool, this is too big loaf for you, make it small’. The frightened child quickly put down the half of it and showed it to father, ‘Father, is this OK?’ His father nodded his head and child ate the bread. When the child took the next loaf of bread, he again showed the bread to father and repeated the same question again. His father got angry and said, ‘Yes, I don’t need to tell you every small thing now’ and I hardly controlled my laughter.
In societies like ours, where strictness with children is considered an important tool of guidance and they are not allowed to do anything of their own, we can observe many similar situations. You might have noticed many grown-ups who have grown mature physically but mentally and emotionally, they are still handicapped and look for others to be guided.
When we do a work with our own wish, we draw full joy out of it and the work is also done more properly and nicely. This was the experience shared by a teacher in a teachers’ training. She told that, ‘Many times, I guide my students to do an activity in a particular way and if I force the students to do so, they do it reluctantly but if I allow them to do it the way that pleases them, they show more involvement with the activity’.
In the same way, human beings have been gifted with unique and varying abilities and talents. For a particular work, a person may think in a better and innovative way than the rest.
Allowing the children to do work with their own talents is a unique psychological trait that is exclusively needed in our society where we are not in habit of granting freedom for the minds of others. But it should not be mixed with that limitless freedom that snatches the freedoms of others. It is a positive and constructive idea that allows us to live a natural life.