In some of the illiterate and culturally intimidated countries and societies, at times I think of crying out in the favor of the rights of women and girls and protest against the circumstances that they are forced to live in. In the name of religion, so many things are done against them which is absolutely not present in Islam and which is not supported by any kind of rational or positive thinking approach.

On the other hand, illiteracy and unawareness about the rights and facilities to women make the society an absolutely male dominated one and thus here thinking and talking in favor of the legitimate rights of women that are granted to them both by the religion and the state laws is considered odd and at most cases stupid or inappropriate.

With the exception of few enlightened minds, the approaches and ideas of people about girls are dominated by the influences of culture. This cultural mind set is so old that it becomes very difficult for a person to think against it even if you convince him that it is not any kind of violation of Islam. If a person is in habit of keeping his wife absolutely covered in veil and he does so in the name of orders or guidelines of Islam and if you inform him that in true Islamic teachings, there is not present any such order, he might hardly agree to allow his wife come out without her face covered.

The effects of culture that has molded our thoughts and conduct cannot be easily thwarted in a short span of time and with limited efforts. It needs complete change of environment and establishment of a new mind-set to take effect.

Some on the basis of old thinking approaches, while others due to the heedlessness towards the importance of equality among the children, girls are not equally treated in families. In families where light of education has not reached and not brought any enlightenment in the thoughts of people, such a treatment can be termed as justified but it is sad to see that many of the literate or so-called modern families also ignore such sensitivity while granting the rights of girls.

Such injustice or scenes of inequality can be witnessed on many occasions. While bringing gift on returning home from a foreign trip, while buying ice-cream to children from a shop, while distributing food items among the children or while buying clothes and other things to the children on Eid or similar occasions, dominance of a boy on a girl is noticed and felt. Such small injustices leave behind huge bruises on the memory and feelings of a girl. Usually these injustices are not done with any evil intention or deliberately but parents need not to forget their responsibilities of doing efforts and showing sensitivity to avoid any such bitter incident.

Unfortunately, our society went through a number of experiments on the treatment of girls. They were kept bound to the boundaries of the house but it never brought an end to the problem. The problems when pressed, found a hidden way to escape. It is a common experience that when a problem is not finished from its roots and is pressed, it reacts just like a spring or a catapult. The problem is pressed for a short period of time but then it returns with more intensity and devastation.

Another problem with this approach was lack of visibility because when problem was evident and clear, it was easy to be detected and cured but when it went behind the curtains, problem really existed but was not visible to anyone. It was just like a typical "ALL OK" political situation in which problems are concealed from the Chief Executive of the country and his officials and advisers show him wrong but pleasing picture of the situations in the country.

The extremist response to the above approach came in form of giving complete freedom to the girls to do whatever they wished. This was experimented in some of the modern cities where major emphasis was laid on the alteration of the exterior of the girls according to the standards set by the modern or better call western societies.

This kind of approach could have been very successful to a non-Islamic society where there are no restrictions on whatever one does but in our society, where we are given proper guidelines by our religion, such an independent style of living cannot be tolerated, both by the minds of girls and by the set of strict cultural norms and practices of people.

That's why we see that such an approach also died up with the passage of time.

In response to this, I would like to share with you some of my personal experiences.

At times, we went for a picnic in a park and I was lucky to have friends who taught me very good lessons regarding the healthy and acceptable handling of ladies that not only grant them all the rights but also not violate any of the codes set by religion or culture.

In park, ladies used to have their separate gathering in which they ate their food, played their games without making much noise or catching the attention of people in the surrounding. When it came to service on meals, it was not considered entirely to be the duty or responsibility of ladies. Men also helped and worked just like the ladies did.

On another such occasion, a friend of us invited us to his house and after the meal was over, he neatly collected all the plates and cleaned the sheet (dastarkhwan) and took it home after folding it properly. He spent almost ten minutes in cleaning the sheet and he told us that if he had taken it home in such a dirty shape, it could have taken 30 minutes to be cleaned. It was not fair to leave all the services on ladies of the house.

In Arab Islamic countries, one view really catches my attention. A family including of father, mother (who is wearing a scarf and proper and dignified dress) and happy children go to the parks, dine at restaurants and do shopping and have a very pleasant time. This is such a beautiful view that Islamic restrictions on ladies are also followed while rights of ladies to go out and have recreation are also accomplished. Unfortunately, in illiterate societies, ladies spend all their lives in a few rooms and the limited open space of the house and they can never think of doing any shopping or have other legitimate recreation.

Girls often complain of being teased by boys or male members of the society but a girl told me very surprising fact about this as well. She says that when a girl is dignified and confident and keeps her eyes down and never lets any kind of wrong message be transmitted to others by her voice, clothing or actions, she is given due respect and no one can dare to tease her. She termed a dignified and proper dress a blessing for the girls.

In offices and institutes, girls who are sober, dignified and serious are never approached by anyone with an evil desire and thus she is the best guardian of herself.
I hope that I have conveyed my message to both men and girls of the society.