Editor in Chief: Moh. Reza Huwaida Sunday, May 24th, 2020




A man was walking on the road. At once, a man came out of a shop very fast and hit the man on the road and they both fell down. First man stood up and said to the next in a bitter voice, 'Why don't you look before you come out on road, you should remember that you are not running in your father's garden'. These words annoyed the second badly and he came up with even worst and annoying answer. By the time, people could have come and tried to separate them, they had started punching and kicking each other.

We were in a taxi. Having a look at some space, the driver quickly turned the taxi to enter the adjoining lane and hit another taxi. Driver of another taxi took his head out of taxi and yelled andshouting and abusing at once started and got heated up. By the time people had made both the drivers to calm down, they had left their taxis and were about to get into a physical fight.

Every day, we witness a number of such events and result is almost the same. No doubt, there are many frustrating factors prevalent in country like joblessness, inflation and other worries of daily life that are responsible for such behavior of people but when conditions cannot be changed, best way to handle the conditions is to change the thinking approaches and behaviors resulting from the approaches.

Excluding the serious crimes like murder, robbery and others, majority of these small quarrels are not due to ill-intentions but due to the ignorance or absence of some norms and practices which are present in almost all the civilized societies.

A man returned from a European country and was asked by his friends to share his experience. No doubt, he praised the presence and functioning of a government, presence of a wonderful infrastructure and many other facilities which are the trademark identities of these developed countries but according to him, the thing that impressed him the most was the polite behavior of people.

Whenever there was any road-side collision or mistake, both the parties apologized and excused each other on the spot, words that promote good behaviors like 'Thank you!', 'Sorry', 'So nice of you,' and 'It is alright' were extensively and generously used, people hated to interfere in other's issues and thus there never rose any conflict among them and more importantly, a feeling of responsibility was upheld and practiced by people whenever they got into direct interaction with others.

Once we went for a picnic to a park and there were almost 30 students. Park was big and beautiful and it took almost 20-25 minutes to walk inside it. There were dustbins at different points with some distance from each other. People used to throw their trash into the dustbins when they found one near, otherwise empty bottles, chips wrappers and other similar things were thrown here and there, encouraging the others to do so. As usual, I was taking care that students should remain together so that we should be aware of each other or there should not be any kind of harm to the students.

When we had walked for about 6-7 minutes after entering the park, I just glanced at the boys. I noticed that one student by the name of Haris was not among us. I asked the students but nobody knew about him. After a minute, he came running. On my inquiry, he told me that he had to throw an empty bottle in a dustbin and having not found any dustbin near, he had gone to a corner of the park to do so. I was really impressed by this act of the child. It was our duty to teach them from our behavior but he had in fact told us what to do.

Similarly, our society is not void of people who understand the civic norms and acceptable behaviors and thus exhibit them with their conduct. Important thing is that, many of the people don't know these at all, and those who know, are reluctant to practice as they see that majority of the people are doing absolutely opposite of it. A good thing remains good, no matter people practice it or not. It is also important that, instead of getting a negative inspiration from people, we need to be a source of positive inspiration to others. No doubt, a small act of ours might come up with a big result.

There are some occasions when we need to be especially careful of our behavior. When one falls while walking or gets into any kind of trouble, we have a habit to start laughing. In civilized nations, when such thing happens, people react as if nothing has happened so that the person in misery should not feel ashamed.

I have seen a lot many people, especially the youth, who like to show that they are very happy or enjoying themselves. It is the reason that when 6 or 7 of such people gather at a restaurant or at a park, they start laughingso loudly that privacy of the people in vicinity is disturbed. Behind this behavior lies a hidden psychological problem that they want to show that they are more energetic or young or jolly comparing to others and thus violate others' privacy.

There are some show-offs who want to get the attention of others by showing their cars, mobile phones, expensive clothing and so on. They forget that, while doing so they are appearing to be too cheap in eyes of others or harming the feelings of those who don't have these things.

Then there is the habit of not waiting for turns and feeling very reluctant to get into a queue or line. First, we are impatient and want to get something as soon as possible. Secondly, we feel it an embarrassment to get into a line and wait for our turn.

In this regard, very few and easy steps can be immediately taken. We need to use more and more those words that decrease the possibilities of conflict and that make us feel better. These words are mentioned above as well and many more of them can be used, having a look at the conditions.

There is an interesting saying about freedom that, 'Your freedom finishes where my nose starts'. Similarly, we need to respect the privacy of others and take care that our freedom should not deprive the others of their own.

Our religion also emphasizes on being polite. Knocking the door thrice before entering someone's house, being polite while talking to parents and many more orders and guidelines direct us to be polite.
At times we come upon a child who holds dear a very good quality and when asked, he gives the credit to his family members who guide him to practice good behaviors and values.

In many advanced and developed European and American countries, parents are really worried about the worsening moral and behavioral conditions of their youth. There, Turkish schools have got much popularity among parents where young minds are not only equipped with latest education but are also brought up in a kind of environment which promotes good behaviors and thus children in these schools have come up with more sound and proper personalities.

If we take care of these small things, then we would truly deserve to be called a member of a civilized society.

Mohammad Rasool is the permanent writer of the Daily Outlook Afghanistan and teaches English at Afghan-Turk School, Kabul. Email your suggestions and opinions at muhammadrasoolshah@gmail.com

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