Editor in Chief: Moh. Reza Huwaida Monday, May 20th, 2019

How to build Self-Confidence?


How to build Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence essentially is the belief in one’s ability to succeed despite the odds, difficulties and adversities. It is the talent to cope with one’s limitation and problems. Besides, it is a feeling of trust in one’s capabilities, qualities, and judgment. Having confidence enables us to go beyond our limitations and it paves the way to go towards success; achieving greatness. Confidence is crucial to a happy and fulfilling life. It influences our success work, our family life and relationships. It effects our performance in everything we do and increases the chances of overcoming the hardships and difficulties that encounter it on our way while we work on the things that really matters to us. On the other hand, self-confidence is the belief in oneself and knacks, it describes an internal state made up of what we think and feel about ourselves. This state is changeable according to the situation we are currently in and our responses to events going around us. It is not unusual to feel quite confident in some circumstances and less confidence in others. It is also influenced by past events and how we remember them; recalling a former success has a very different outcome in terms of our confidence levels than thinking about an occasion when we faced failure. If we are fortunate and had relatively favorable conditions and experiences whilst we are growing up, we are likely to develop a healthy self-esteem and become confident. However, if conditions and experiences are unfavorable we are more likely to experience difficulties developing confidence. Some of the negative messages that received from these kinds of circumstances are the major obstacles that do not let us to do or terminate the works that we have started but never succeeded and the reason is that we faced setbacks or could not perform well; therefore, we think and feel that we can not do since the last shot did not result as we expected. Hence, confidence is a really personal thing that is not the same for everyone. Different people have different levels of confidence, but there are some signs of a confident person which can give insight into where it comes from. Even if we’re not naturally confident, there are a number of ways we can build our confidence over time and just like everything else it is attainable, not out of the question. It is well said that “self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening”
Building self-confidence  
It is your responsibility to build your confidence, only one person can build your confidence - guess who? That’s right, you. If you do not do it who will? It only will happen if you make a firm commitment, set goals, plan a strategy and take action. All of this means accepting full responsibility for yourself - deciding to be confidence and refusing to allow anyone to deflect you from your chosen course. Accepting responsibility adds up to never, never blaming people for.
Assume that everything that happen from now on is your own doing. Think and behave accordingly. You’ll find it’s one of the most liberating things you can do. 
Imagine yourself as a confident person, our imagination will stretch to any scenario, but people lacking in confidence usually imagine themselves as failures. They do not realise that they cannot succeed at anything if they imagine themselves doing so. How you imagine yourself may bear no relation to the truth, but it is, rather than the reality which governs your feelings and behaviors. Changing what you imagine about yourself can bring about a profound growth in confidence. When you imagine yourself as a good, capable, confident person, it becomes easier to think and behave like one.
Focus on achievements. If you make time to think you will realize that you have accomplished so many things in your life. It really does not matter what these achievements are only that they are important to you and that is all that makes a huge difference in your confidence. List your accomplishments and remember what they meant to you. It does not matter what you think about your life at the present if you are honest with yourself you will make a long list and that will make you feel extremely good. Every small thing you are proud of like winning a competition, being honest, talented, benefactor and so on… should be added to your list. The fact that you are focusing on positives will also help you to increase your level of self-esteem.
Celebrate strengths, we all have strength - things that set us apart from others and that you should celebrate and assert in everyday situation. All you have to do is to accept them and assert them. It takes a lot of courage to celebrate your strengths. This is especially the case because many times the things that you see as strengths may be viewed as weaknesses by your peers. For instance you may feel that compassion and kindness are your strengths. However, your friends and peers may feel that when you are kind, you’re wimpy and not good. If this is the case, you may choose not to hang around such people or you may want to assert your strengths anyway and not to pay attention to their reactions. You do not have to give in to another person’s idea or view of what should be right for you just to fit in. So, take stock of strengths and celebrate it in everyday situation. Not only you will be asserting yourself but you’ll feel great about yourself and so will your true friends.
To sum up, confidence is within ourselves which needs exploration. It expands all performance and brighten days. Moreover, you feel at ease even the time that things goes wrong and is not favorable. Be optimistic and do the things that are mentioned above.  

Ahmad Shah Karimi is the newly emerging writer of the Daily Outlook Afghanistan. He can be reached at ahmadshahkarimi@ hotmail.com

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