Editor in Chief: Moh. Reza Huwaida Thursday, March 28th, 2024

An Apple Does not Fall Far From the Tree

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An Apple Does not Fall  Far From the Tree

When a child is born, he is in chains at birth. Despite his free nature, his mother ties him with great force. He feels pain and suffering and weeps with anger. From the very beginning, his mother treats him against his natural tendency and comfort. Since his voice is free, he screams to rail against the torture and cruelty done to him. He weeps for being hurt physically. If you were tied up as a newborn, you would shout more painfully. What does this obsolete tradition originate in?

Jean Jacques Rousseau believes that this tradition took root when mothers disparaged their sacred task of nurturing their children and submitted them to foster-mothers. The employed nurses, who lacked motherly sincerity, tied up the children with ribbon for long hours so as to do their household chores with peace of mind. Moreover, they were sure enough that children could not hurt themselves that way and remained apathetic to their cries. So, their mothers enjoyed themselves on streets or wedding ceremonies regardless of what was being done to their children.

Rousseau maintains that there are women ready to breast-feed the kids, whose mothers deny it, in return for money but nothing can fill the vacuum of mother’s sympathy. He accuses women of evading their motherly responsibilities – especially of breast-feeding their children. He adds that those who breast-feed the kids of others instead of their own are appropriate mothers neither for their kids nor for the kids of others. 

Rousseau argues that if you believe that everyone must carry out his/her job properly, let’s start from mothers. In case of their deficiency, Moral principles erode, natural feelings weather in the hearts and the domestic milieu, which is taking shape this way, fails to attract the spouses and to make the strangers to keep the decorum. The home will change into a tragic domicile.

However, if mother breast-feed their children, the decorum and moral principles will emerge automatically. The beauty and sincerity of a family is the antidote to corrupt morality and evil characters. Children’s hustle and bustle will change into a solace. The family ties will grow stronger and the house chores will turn to amusement.If mothers neglect to nurture their scions’ natural tendencies, children will lose the sense of affection towards their mothers. It is clear that if mothers do not nourish their children, they act against nature. Rousseau affirms that lavishing a surfeit of attention and care upon children is also against nature – and therefore destructive. In other words, idolizing children with the intention of letting them not to feel their incapacity, will lead to horrible consequence. Mothers, who attempt to save their children from natural pain and suffering, will do great harm to them.

Rousseau stresses on nature and urges parents to bring up their children in natural way. He states that let children experience the natural difficulties of life – such as sickness and pain. So, those who face the ups and downs of life bravely will be able to stand up on their own feet. Abraham Lincoln writes wisely to his son’s teacher regarding training his child as, “Teach him if you can, how to laugh when he is sad… Teach him there is no shame in tears; teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness… Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders but never to put a price-tag on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right. Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient… let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will have sublime faith in mankind.”

Rousseau affirms that it is shown that the mortality rate among the children who live in opulence and lush surroundings is far higher than those who live in misery and suffering. He exhorts parents to expose their children to physical pains and prepare them to tolerate hunger, exhaustion and the torrid and frigid weather of multiple atmospheres so as to prevent them from greater dangers in the future. According to Rousseau, children are flexible and far susceptible to change than the old individuals. So, it is easy to train kids in any way before taking roots certain habits in them. One can bring up the kids strong without putting their health at risk. Yet if they fail to endure a small risk, they will lose their morale whilst facing greater jeopardy in the future.

He asserts that no one has committed suicide for suffering a certain physical disease, but it is only spiritual disease which breeds chagrin. Thus, if children be kept out of difficulties in their childhood, they will feel disappointment and may seek to commit suicide with facing only a slight challenge in their future.

Rousseau concludes in Emile that when a child is born, his infancy elapses with cries. The parents either threaten or pat the child to soothe it. In short, we either succumb to our own anger or to the child’s tendency rather than choosing a middle way. So, the child learns either to order or to obey from the very first day, it is no more than slavery and mastery. Sometimes, the child is punished without knowing its fault or making a mistake. This way, we fill them with egotism, cruelty and lust for evil and then attribute the evils to nature railing against them for becoming wicked. 

Hujjatullah Zia is a permanent writer of Daily Outlook Afghanistan. He can be reached at zia_hujjat@yahoo.com

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