Everything seems to be dark and disappointing. It is mainly because of the poor health when every organ starts malfunctioning and thus a feeling of weariness intimidates the feelings of a person. Feelings of exhaustion, weariness and boredom accompany a person in the complete length of days and nights. In such a condition, it is quite natural if a person doesn’t feel well or if he or she losses his temper because the whole system of body, both physical and emotional, no more remains normal.

The above condition is very common with every old and aged person. It is the reason why we see that in old age, members of the family usually keep complaining about the behaviors of the elders of the family. Elderly members usually lose their temper and they become just like a small child, becoming angry or happy on very small things. They are also complained of interfering in all the issues of the house.

A father of one of my friends created a lot many problems to the members of family when he got retired. Now he was free the whole day and it was his natural habit to keep checking different things of the house and made repairs to them. The house that looked absolutely calm before his retirement started shaking with his orders and angry shouting, asking different members to do different things. Different objects of the house started appearing to be out of order or their places were termed to be improper. Now he kept yelling to keep the things on their places, turn OFF unnecessary lights and electrical appliances, and other such matters which did not harm anyone when they were left untouched and unnoticed in routine.

Another old lady was in habit of criticizing the choice of young girls of the house regarding clothes, jewelry, shoes, handbags and even the color of nail polish and lipsticks. She thought that she knew better than the girls and thus girls should follow her guidelines in deciding upon the above things.

Anyhow, the end result comes in a number of situations. First and in very rare cases, the family members ignore the stupid remarks and acts of the elders of the family but never let the respect and attention to decrease. They try their best to compromise with them and their inappropriate behavior and try to keep them happy with their patience and humane behavior. Then there are families (and it is the most common in Europe, America and other developed countries of the world) that aged mothers and fathers are sent to the old homes and thus family members permanently get rid of their meddling. In our society, there are present some families where aged members are not tolerated at all and they are badly scolded whenever they try to disturb them. This treatment makes them limited to a corner of the house and they no more remain an active member of the family. Usually, they are allotted a room in a corner and are treated like an expired object when the members of the family are waiting for their silent departure. Some other forms of treatment of elderly also exist when varied combinations of respect and ignorance decide upon their importance in the family.

Along with these, there also exists a truly awkward condition in our rural areas when male elders have a dictatorial authority and command on all the members of the family and rest of the family members spend a helpless life, just like enslaved animals. They cannot do anything except to tolerate all these.

However, in another article it was discussed how we can change our attitude and be more tactical in order to avoid the behaviors of elderly that disturb us a lot. In today’s article, we will see how the old members of the family can feel better by changing their thinking approaches and majority of these thinking approaches are to be considered only with an Islamic perspective because a person who doesn’t believe in the basics of Islam can never come to justify these ideas.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of modern families where the elderly are treated as if they are burden on rest of the family members and thus they are not given due importance. This situation makes them feel sad and their hearts are filled with blood, as it is said metaphorically. An already exhausted and frustrated person losses more energy and spirit with this ignoring and inappropriate behavior of the members of the family. They see that, the tree that they planted and brought up with their hands has turned into a thorny plant and thrown them away from its shade and fruits.

In such disappointment, when they every single moments adds to their disappointment, some of the finest Islamic beliefs come to their rescue. These golden rules are taken from a famous book of an Islamic scholar that I would like to share with you:

• In old age, every moment of suffering, be it physical or emotional, results in the decrease of your sins. It is said that when one is suffering, his sufferings wipe away the sins of person. When we suffer in an old age, they actually turn out in our own benefit and thus these sufferings should not disappoint us, rather they should be taken as blessings bestowed upon us as a favor to clean us of the dirt of our sins.
• According to Islamic ideology, diseases bring us close to Allah and when we suffer with diseases, we feel our helplessness, repent on our past sins, ask for the forgiveness and favors of Allah and get close to the favors and blessings of Allah. Thus a disease in old age should not be taken as a bad or disappointing, rather, they should delight our hearts with a view that they have been given to us as a source of earning the eternal favors.
• When the elderly tolerate the inappropriate behavior of their family members, they earn a lot of blessings and reward in return to their tolerance and patience. It has repeatedly been said in all the Universal religions of the world that tolerance and patience elevate the character of a person and raises him to the peaks of spiritual attainment.

With these, there can be many other reasons to keep the hearts of elderly happy. The author advises the elderly not to be disappointed of their condition and pass their old age with a good spirit so that they should not unnecessarily disturb others and create problems to them. No doubt, physical breakdown and nervous sensitivity is the problem in the old age but biggest problem is pessimistic thinking approach of a person which breaks down the spirit of body and thoughts and makes everything seem dark and gloomy. In such circumstances, if we look at the above points and try to comprehend the situation from a different perspective, we can live a contented and happy life in our old age.