Our holy Prophet (PBUH) sent some of his companions to a place. They were caught by the soldiers of a King and were brought in front of the King. The king was angry to discover that they had left their old and traditional religion and had entered a new religion. On the orders of the king, they were all tied down and tortured. Then king asked their leader to be brought. He was offered the freedom if he converts back to his old religion which he turned down immediately. King got angry again and ordered to fill a big pot or cauldron with water and boil the water. One of his companions were brought and thrown into this boiling water and the leader was threatened that he would be the next person getting this treatment but again he refused to change his decision. Then he was made a new offer. The king asked if he kissed his forehead, he would not only grant him freedom but would also release all his companions. For this, the leader agreed and went and kissed the forehead of the king. They were all released on the order of the king.
When they returned and told the story, the tactfulness of the leader was very much appreciated. From then on, it was emphasized that at times, we must be tactful in our daily lives.
It is also said that for big gains, we will have to sacrifice the small gains but it should not be forgotten that we can never grant permission for any evil work or intention.
The conditions in the world will always not be in our favor. There will be difficulties and problems everywhere. If there is only one apple and four people are waiting for it and if there is a condition that only one of the four will get the whole apple, there will be only 25% chances to each contender to get the apple. Similarly, we will not be in the commanding position everywhere and every time, rather, we will have to go through inevitable conditions and bear the difficulties.
A person was working as a guard in an office. He used to say that his grandfather was a rich man and chief of the village. Then came the turn of his father who also enjoyed the authority as the chief of the village but his father gradually lost all the money and things turned against their family. He left his village and came to city seeking a job and became a guard at a house. He was absolutely happy of this and said that others also had rights to be rich and it was not fair that a single family should always be rich for many generations while other should remain poor for decades. He was happy because he tactfully understood the situation and made a compromise with it.
This important phenomenon is must for those who are working with people who are difficult to be understood. If possible, we should try our best to avoid such conditions but if not, we have no option except to handle it very tactfully. In such circumstances, the people have been found to be successful who were tactful in handling the situation. They handle the bosses in a way that not only they keep them happy but also avoid the clash with them and make their way through.
This condition is very essential both for individuals and nations as a whole. At times, a nation may find itself locked in a state where it may be fully surrounded by a number of difficult situations. It may be the victim of the cruelty of its neighbors, a strong nation of the world may turn against it or try to snatch its freedom and other similar conditions may prevail. In such circumstances, if a nation tries to take the path of clash and confrontation with others, it may not be able to do any harm to others but would definitely risk its existence.
This strategy may not be much needed for a nation with strength and authority but for the weak and suppressed, it is the best temporary strategy. Once the nation succeeds in gaining the strength, it may come into position to deal with others on the basis of equality but till then, it will have to take the path of tactfulness.
More than three decades ago, some people stood up with an aim to reach all the nations of the world with their open arms and warm hearts, in order to show the true picture of Islam to all the nations of the world and their only weapon was love and sacrifice, keeping aside the differences of religion, race, color or geographical backgrounds. But years of propaganda had made such an environment that Non-Muslims had become allergic to all those who had beard, or wore their traditional dress and did not appear like them. Then they decided to be tactful; they shoved their beards, wore the acceptable dress of suits or pants and jackets and adopted all the things that increased the trust of people on them and that were also permitted by the religion. When they did so, they were welcomed in different corners of the world and thus they had no problem in carrying their message of love, tolerance and mutual cooperation among the different nations of the world.
No doubt, this strategy is the weapon of the weak but at the same time it is also the most beautiful ornament of the strong and powerful. If a powerful and strong person adopts this strategy of tactfulness, he leaves others in utter surprise and admiration and teaches others the lessons of being tactful.
It is rather dismal to discover that there are many people in the world who want to force the others to accept their set of beliefs or fail to show any kind of flexibility in their lives. The recent riots and killing of Muslims in Burma was also one of the instances when no flexibility was shown towards the beliefs of others.
The old church believed that a true Christian should either enter the Christianity as a whole or stay outside its blessed circle. For this, a Christian was ordered to go through all the strict laws and obligations like living a hard life eating only simple food, wearing only simple clothes, abstaining from getting married and others. When such hard and impossible conditions were imposed on people, they got away from religion. In the end, the church realized that they will have to show flexibility in order to bring people back to the church.
A friend of mine, whose combined modern and Islamic knowledge had thought him to be flexible, was the continuous victim of the criticism of others who believed that there should not be any kind of flexibility in any regards. The writings and ideas of some of our religious and political leaders have also resulted in the same condition that we are getting away from any kind of flexibility and it would definitely lead to the situation when we will not permit and tolerate the existence of others and give rise to a general disturbance and anarchy that would not be in the benefit of anyone.